Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
