i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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