If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
