xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
