Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
