I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
