Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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