just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize