I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
