Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
