Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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