It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
