the condom got lost in my hair
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize