My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize