16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
