Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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