I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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