my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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