i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
