I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
