doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
