Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
