this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
