Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
