At least make sure they are 18
Why
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
