Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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