where am i from again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
