I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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