It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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