My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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