Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize