So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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