piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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