just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
