Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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