It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
