OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
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Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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