My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't think brook has ever known best
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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