idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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