I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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