A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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