is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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