Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
