Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
