At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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