She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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