For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
