i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
