My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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