I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
