In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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