Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
