AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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