This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
