The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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