I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize