there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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