I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
