last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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